Tips for Saving Huge Wads of Money on Food while Living Under Socialist Rule

Like many of you, I worry a LOT about how we're going to "make ends meet" once Obamacare becomes fully enforced for all of us Americans who aren't currently serving as members of congress or belong to a "Union" of some type, which is basically the same thing. The way I figure, times will likely get a lot tougher once the government starts snagging a good fifty percent of our paychecks each week to pay for other folk's healthcare, and then spins around and fines us on top of it every April fifteenth for not having our own. Plus, when the gas prices reach ten bucks a gallon, and we're re-financing our homes just to be able to pay for a couple of cheeseburgers at the local Burger King, we're going to have to learn to do things differently.

    Luckily, I'm just the guy to talk to when it comes to when it comes to these types of matters, cause I've been doing things differently all my life, and I've saved BALES of money in the process! Especially on FOOD, which, and you can ask my children, I pretty much refused to buy any of the whole time they were growing up, on account of we had a God's plenty of "bullets" lying around anyway that may have otherwise went to waste, causing me to have to transfer money over from the beer and gasoline fund to replace them.

     Looking back, this was probably a pretty good system! We raised chickens for eggs and the occasional chicken dinner, grew our own vegetables, and ate a boatload of  wild game and fish pretty much year round, with the only major costs being paid out in fines to Game wardens and other law enforcement officials who seemed to be "camped-out" near our country home quite a bit. And I don't want to brag, but this type of "raising" seemed to really agree with the kid's too, many of whom still speak to me today, and whose only major health concerns are being underweight.

      But this story is NOT about giving advice on raising children so much as it is on plain old "survival", and many of my less conservative friends will, without a doubt, be needing information about how to feed their OWN families in the harsh world they have created for ALL of us through their utter ignorance, and THAT'S why I'm here! To enlighten the liberals, and teach them the basic survival skills that our government just won't teach anymore, for fear that they'd become self-supporting, and stop depending on elected officials.

      HaHa! Just teasing! The government knows full well that there will ALWAYS be hordes of people who are too stupid to take care of themselves because they encourage it, starting when our children are very young, and continuing well into their adult years, by which time many of these folks are such miserable failures in life that they have no sound option for survival other than voting for liberal democrats and aborting babies out of the fear that one day the baby might grow up and break the chain by finding gainful employment and voting Republican, which could be damaging to our entire welfare system.

        But enough about "politics"! When I started this particular story three beers ago it was supposed to be about preparing wild game for a family meal, so that our nation's welfare recipients will be able to feed themselves once the food stamps run out. Today's recipe is one of MY personal favorites, and it was a big hit with my children when they were growing up as well, who still talk about it today, although they refuse to come over to our house for supper unless the good wife is cooking.

       Rabbit Stew: The first thing you need to do here, of course, is acquire a rabbit. Locating a rabbit is normally fairly easy, especially if you have an elderly neighbor whose vegetable garden looks much better than yours does. But, if you don't HAVE an elderly neighbor, you may have to resort to "calling" a rabbit in, using a hollow wooden call that you can purchase at your local "Cabella's". Be sure to ask the clerk specifically for a "Rabbit Call", because one of the biggest sellers in the call area is for a "Predator" call, which sounds like a wounded rabbit, and is used for calling in coyotes, bobcat's and other predators. But YOU want the one that sounds like a wounded coyote instead, which will bring the rabbits hopping up to you like mad, hoping to get revenge on the predators. Once your rabbit is in range, you can either shoot it with a rifle or shotgun, or just whap it in the head with a whiffle bat. It doesn't really matter, because YOUR mission is simply to get the rabbit into the crock pot in time for the evening meal.

        Now that you've killed what is no doubt your FIRST rabbit, it's time to start the cooking process! First, remove most of the fur, intestines, and any part of the rabbits head that doesn't look appetizing. Also, if you were stupid enough to actually USE a shotgun, you should make an attempt to get at least SOME of the shot out of the body, lest you commit a huge social gaffe by letting a guest bite down on a pellet. Now, rinse the rabbit off under the kitchen sink faucet, and then swirl it around violently over your head in the dining room to let it dry. That last part wasn't really necessary, but it will do wonders for your sex life when your wife gets to realizing what a "manly" provider she married.  Next, place the rabbit in the crock pot on the low setting, then add garlic, onions, carrots, and anything else you can steal out of your neighbor's garden while your wife or kid's distract him in the front yard. Again, if you have no neighbor, just walk around your OWN yard with your head hanging down and look for things that look edible, such as mushrooms and toadstools. But be careful! Some of these could be poisonous, so it's best to let one of your more "unpopular" family members try them first, just in case!

         All that's left now is to let the crock pot do it's magic, and add salt and pepper on occasion. It should take about seven hours, tops, at the end of which, if you actually FOLLOWED my recipe, you should give it to the dog and call for pizza delivery on your obama phone. Hopefully, pizza will be covered on your EBT card, because I don't really think you have what it takes to survive on your own anyway.

           In ANY case, Have a Great Day, Friends! And God Bless! And remember that the above story is an awesome reminder to me to NEVER quit my day job. Now for another frosty red! And maybe a slice of pizza.

            

         

       

Just checking

Just checking to see if this thing still works. I may be needing it again..........

What's YOUR answer?

I know. Chances of anybody reading my posts on THIS site are pretty much nil. Save for Obama and his communist government implants, leastways. I want to know what YOUR opinion is though! Is America as she was founded now "dead", or will "We, The People" soon muster the courage to save her? Sure. It's a tough sort of question, and it will likely involve sacrifices from most of us that we really didn't want to make, especially at THIS stage in our lives. I need to know what YOU think, Friends! I'm pretty sure You all know what I think, but if we don't all have "each others back", it'll be a dang tough row to hoe. Goodnight Friends, and God Bless!

Whatever.

Seriously. It's not like I really KNOW what all's going on in America right now, but I'm guessing it's time to change it. It can't be good. Sometimes, when it's REALLY late at night, I have some pretty terrible "nightmares" about what Our Country is turning into, and wonder how WE, as American Citizens, can fix it all! Also, sometimes when I wake up in the middle of the night I have to "pee", so I'm basically admitting that I have a LOT of "troubles" after dark, which usually occurs around "sunset", for all of you  who don't understand plain English. Speaking of Christ, Often times I wonder why He has chosen me to deliver His message in a sort of "comical" way. Weird, isn't it?

Whatever.

It's weird when you really think about it, but as it turns out, I was right all along when I said that "Nothing really clears the mind like a frosty red beer"! Heck! I've been drinking frosty red beers for the better part of my LIFE now, and I can pretty much assure You that MY particular mind has stayed relatively free of "rational" thinking since near the beginning!

Christ above wins! (Every single time)!

Yep! I know that nobody's reading this. But, trust me. People WILL read what I have to say SOMEDAY! Goodnight Friends, and God Bless!