Rice and veggies? Are you serious?

In case any of you are thinking that your government has forgotten about you, what with all the earthquakes, hurricanes, flooding, wars, and this whole national "debt" thing, I'm happy to report that the White House has NOT let their guard down even one iota, at least when it comes to your waistline! I say this only because despite all the other problems facing our country, "obesity" still seems to be the biggest concern for many of the White House staff, including Michelle Obama and most of the cast of "Sesame Street". I'll be the first to admit that my personal body doesn't quite have the sleek and slender design that it had in the seventies, but I'm getting tired of the government comparing MY version of a "healthy diet" to the diets of other people from around the world, such as China, Japan, Indonesia, and just about any other Asian country whose basic "staple" food is rice! While I'll agree that Asian folks are generally fit and trim, I won't agree that it's because they actually 'choose' their diets wisely. Face it. After a few thousand years of eating rice and seaweed for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, most Asians just sort of "pick" at their food anyway. I think the obesity problem goes way deeper than just choosing healthier eating habits. I think it's the governments fault, and specifically the Democrats! Why? Remember when Ronald Reagan was our President, and he was always getting "ticked off" at the Russians for one reason or another, and in almost every such circumstance he would place a "wheat embargo" on them, which meant that OUR wheat farmers couldn't sell wheat to the Russians until President Reagan said it was okay again. This forced Americans everywhere to either eat the wheat themselves or just pile it up into large mounds on their driveways. Nowadays, there is NO wheat embargo that I'm aware of, leaving our farmers free to sell their wheat to whoever they want to, and then using the money to buy beer and throw huge parties involving "junk-food". If memory serves me correctly, "Ron" used to like to make sure that everybody had something to do to keep themselves "busy" too, whereas most Democrats tend to take a more "laid-back" approach on life, and actually encourage hoards of people to just take a few years off for "free", as long as they keep voting "Democrat". Sure. I know what you're thinking! You're thinking that the Democrats sound like a really fun bunch to hang around with, what with all the holidays and lower work ethics, "free" lunches, healthcare, welfare programs, public unions, and Lady Gaga albums, but I'm telling you that THIS is what's making us all "fat" in the first place! I believe that once we elect a "conservative" Republican back into the office of President and go back to where nearly everybody is working for a living, we'd ALL be better off. I also think that we wouldn't necessarily have to put a wheat embargo on Russia anymore either, which should help a bunch, cause that would ensure that we had the money to buy some of the more "healthy", "non-wheat" based imported foods, such as bread, cinnamon rolls, and "Wheaties", while keeping our driveways freed up for vehicle traffic. Also, a good "Conservative Republican President" would eliminate the need for a health-care reform all together, on account of people just naturally "feel better" when a Republican is in charge. By way of proof, I can assure you that I felt much better when Ronald Reagan was our President then I do now, but that could be just me.

Have a great week Friends, and sorry for the lousy "blog" today. Couldn't really "get into it" today, what with my son Cuyler getting deployed again and the good wife and I heading out to West Virginia next weekend. In any case, God Bless! "See" you in two weeks!

"As I was saying.............."

Apparently, I'm losing my mind. Not the part that reminds me to get up every morning and go to work of course, but just the "rational thinking" part. If I'd been Given a choice in the matter, I'd sooner have it the other way around. I'm not really sure just when I started "losing it", but I suspect it was probably in the sixth grade under the influence of our teacher Bob Maydew, who was, at that time, widely known throughout the scholastic system for his "You can paint the barn any color you like, as long as it's red" joke. Now I'm not insinuating in any way that Bob Maydew is responsible for my current situation, because Bob was a fine teacher and a highly respected man. All I'm saying is that he might have done some sort of damage to my "train of thought" that would only show up years later, say at age 49. In any case, I've decided that I have some sort of severe "brain-damage" that would probably require immediate medical attention should I actually ask my doctor, whatever his or her name is. My reasoning for this "self-diagnosis" is that not only am I not thinking "rationally" lately, but I also seem to have some sort of "memory-loss", which seems very strange for a man who can still remember the EXACT look on my friend David Devine's face when we tore the door clean off of his car back in our teenage years, or even the time that me and my friend "Jim-Bob" Allen almost wrecked the city of Lebanon's loader tractor when we were patching asphalt and Lori Merritt walked by in a pair of yellow shorts, sandals, and a multi-colored, vertical-striped, sleeveless shirt. Understand that by no means am I trying to single these friends out, it's just that Dave and Jim-Bob (R.I.P. Friend), were my usual "buddies", and Lori was a very pretty girl. What I DON'T remember is the exact date that me and my family moved out of the United States of America, and into some obviously "third-world" country with very little "clout" among the other nations. It puzzles me, on account of I don't like to fly, don't remember taking a cruise ship anywhere, and the odometer on my pickup truck seems to show that I've only driven locally for quite some time now. I even have neighbors who are far too old and frail to take long trips, yet they are right here with me in whatever country this is. Maybe we're in Great Britain, cause I've heard that the people there don't have any "rights" or money, and we don't seem to either. Heck! I've seen footage from London showing the police just standing around and watching as "unarmed" civilians' businesses were burned to the ground by "protesters". That alone should prove that "gun control" is a GOOD thing, in as much as no harm was done to any of the culprits! Shucks! Just the other day there was a group of cult members from "westboro" (thank you Barbara Ball, it will be a cult, not a Church, from now on when I write), who had the nerve to "protest" a military funeral in a military town! Luckily, the very police force that receives their wages and compensation from the taxpayers of Hays Kansas were on hand to "serve and protect", like it says on their patrol cars, and no harm came to these freaks either, leaving them free to stir up even more feelings of discontent in the future. If this isn't enough, we now have "flash-mobs", which is a popular event in some of the larger cities wherein regular citizens and business owners are invited to watch criminals steal from them while the police sit idly by. If YOU are a business owner or just a "plain old" citizen, and you feel that not enough of your money or possessions are being stolen from you, or maybe you feel that you're just getting way too much respect from your fellow citizens, the liberal Democrats have set up a "toll-free" (paid for by taxpayers everywhere) telephone number with which you can call and have a flash mob rob you, but only during hours that "American Idol" is not on! Wow! I guess I'm droning on and on again, and probably even to the point that I don't even remember what the subject of today's blog is about. Wait a minute! It was something about losing my mind. Or maybe my memory. Whatever. All I know is that sometimes things get broken, and if it's a "little" thing like a watch, television remote, or an exercise wheel in your gerbil cage it can sometimes be "fixed" by only one person. If something "bigger" gets broken, it may take a whole "batch" of people to fix it. Preferably a batch that doesn't spend their days drinking jello shots out of each others belly buttons and waiting in lines for their welfare checks.

Have a great week Friends! And know that when I started this blog my intentions were good. It's just that sometimes I think either too much or too little about what I write. Remember, I'm just a construction worker. God Bless!

Vacation Again? But it's MY turn!

In only three more weeks my good wife Kristy and I will head on out to West Virginia to spend a few days with my son Nathan and daughter-in-law Alison and little Danny, Denton, and Addison! We've been waiting rather impatiently to make this trip for the better part of a year now, and now that the time is getting closer it seems like the clocks are all stuck in "granny" gear, cause they rarely ever move at the speed I think they should be moving. "Nate" tells me there's not a lot of "tourist" attractions in the particular part of West Virginia where they live, but I'm pretty sure there are at least FIVE things we want to see, and three of them are still pretty close to the ground. The only reason we don't just jump in the car and drive out there once or twice a month is because I'm not the President of the United States, which kind of sucks when I think about it for more than five minutes or so. Come to think of it, I'm not even a congressman. I guess when you really start taking the "peeling" off, I'm just an ordinary construction worker, and my wife is just an ordinary "deli-manager", so we're forced to plan our life's events using the old-fashioned "budget" guidelines, even though this method has been "tossed-out" in Washington and most other government agencies in favor of the more modern "Just print some more" ideology. The biggest problem I've found so far by being in "the working class" of people, is that you have to be somewhat "responsible" for your OWN finances! Plus you have to let the government have a huge chunk of your paycheck before You get it, otherwise numerous big, burly men with large federal dogs will come and take you away. Taking money from your weekly paycheck isn't always enough to satisfy the government, because they generally want even MORE in the first part of April each year. Sometimes I get a little "ticked-off" at the Internal Revenue Service because I think they take way too much out of mine, but it doesn't seem to make any difference. I just need to realize that they are trying to protect me from having to try to figure out what I'd do with it if I had any extra. They're probably afraid that I'd just throw it into the bushes next to the alley behind my house, or blow it all on "Cheetos". I suppose that someday I'll probably "wake up" and realize that I'll never get "rich" working in the "private" sector and "run" for some type of position in the political field, like a "senator", or "representative" or something. I think I'd have a pretty good chance at either one on account of there's a large sum of people right here in Kansas that would just LOVE to see me go to Washington, or just about ANY other state. If I "played my cards right", I may even work my way up to the office of "President", and then I could take vacations whenever I grew tired of performing my "Presidential duties", such as having dinners with campaign contributors, or playing golf. I could even take a vacation to "Martha's Vineyard", where most all of our President's go. I really don't know who "Martha" is, but I've been hearing about her vineyard for as long as I can remember, so she's GOT to be getting pretty old by now, and I'd like to meet her before it's "too late", if you get my drift. Come to think of it, President Obama is vacationing there this week on account of "there's not much going on" in the country at present. I hope he gets a chance to relax and "rewind"! Maybe he'll come up with a brand new list of people to blame for his incompetence, which would be nice, cause I'm getting kind of tired of the old one. I hope he's not using any of MY money to take his vacation, cause I'm going to need it for West Virginia! Especially if we get lost in all those hills because we couldn't afford a GPS on our budget. I DO plan to leave a trail of "Cheetos" behind on the roads we take once we enter the state so we can find our way back out again, so if any of you are going to be in West Virginia on "Labor Day" week, please don't eat them! At least not until you see us go back by. Then I don't care.

Have a great week Friends, and see you here next Sunday! God willing, of course!

"Government programs"! (How they help our Country)!

Sometimes I get the feeling that the entire world underwent some type of radical change and nobody told me. I only say this because I'm obviously "out of touch" with modern society to a point where I don't even feel welcome any more. I'll be fifty years old in January, but if we went back thirty years there wouldn't be a heck of a lot of difference in my lifestyle, save for a few grey hairs. I still have a gun rack in my truck, several rifles and shotguns in the house, fishing poles, tackle boxes, ammo cans, bows, arrows, hat's, and old boots that are "still too good" to throw away basically "litter" the back porch and basement. My computer desk is littered with past and current issues of "American Rifleman" magazines, several notebooks full of scrawlings, monthly issues of Hillsdale college's "Imprimus" publications, a "Kansas" road map, toothpick dispenser, and a "frosty" mason jar full of my traditional Sunday morning "tomato" juice. I also chew tobacco, smoke cigarettes, listen to Rush Limbaugh, and watch FOX news each night. What I want to know, is why didn't somebody tell me a long time ago that this type of self-destructive lifestyle was not only very "dangerous", but would also one day lead our entire nation into financial turmoil? Sure, I remember at least SOME of the things that the democrats tried to warn me about to protect me, such as the times they'd ban a particular firearm so I couldn't legally own it, but criminals still could, and I realize they only did this to keep me from hurting myself, on account of my "immaturity". The democrats were constantly reminding the rest of us that "guns kill", even though many of us would often try to put the blame on the lunatic pulling the trigger, who had apparently been "abused" by his great uncle Herb at one time, or a trusted family pet. None of my household weapons have ever killed any human being. At least not that I'm aware of, but due to the enlightenment I've been getting from the dems I keep a "suspicious" eye on them, and I really do think I saw my SKS move on it's own the other night, but I'm not sure cause I'd been drinking. It's not just guns that our democrat leaders are trying to protect us from, they're also trying to help us to live a longer and more "quality" type of life, mostly by convincing us to give up our bacon double cheeseburgers and french fries for some of the more healthier foods, such as prairie grass, nuts and berries, and boiled gravel. It was also the democrats, (in their ongoing efforts to reduce the number of "productive" people in this country), who came up with the ingenious idea of fueling our vehicles with "ethanol", rather than messing around with all that smelly old "crude" oil which lies abundantly under our land. Ethanol is widely popular to this day, giving the average motorist the ability to pay a few pennies less at the pump, while, at the same time giving him the satisfaction of knowing that he will get about half of the mileage per gallon that he would have if he'd just bought regular old "petroleum". The fact that he's taking food out of cattle's mouths and causing a nationwide feed shortage is of no concern either, cause he's eating boiled gravel now, remember? Some of the really "serious" democrats, like Al Gore, believe that we're ruining our planet through our "emissions" into the environment and causing what he calls "global warming", which helped to create a nationwide panic among people who think just like he does, and as a result, we now have several locations across the country with a huge population of giant "windmills", which, at the cost of nearly 3 million dollars apiece, can generate enough electricity to light up an entire 30-inch television screen, provided that the wind is blowing. "Government programs" is another way the democrats have been "looking out" for us, and I think this is a great idea because it gives us the opportunity to not only decide if we "want" to work, but in many cases how "hard" we want to work! If you're willing to work, but not all that "hard", you could get yourself a "government" job, wherein you'd receive a huge salary from the common taxpayers for conducting a study on the mating habits of the Australian field mouse, cause Lord knows this is important! On the other hand, if you don't wish to work at all, that's okay too! That's what the rest of us are here for, to "take care" of you! In short, the democrat's have lot's of great ideas and programs for this country, and I think those of us who are "frittering" our lives away by going to "work" on a daily basis are just wasting our time, and need to become a little more "worldly"! Personally, I'm going to try to be a more "modern" man myself, by learning how to "cry" in public, like John Boehner does. If I really get "into it", maybe someday I'll just give all of my guns, my truck, and my gun magazines to my wife. Maybe even my "testicles". I better go now Friends. I'm involved in a "study group" as to what made our great nation's credit rating drop, and from what I've seen so far from the "liberal" media, it's probably my fault. Have a great weekend Friends, and may God Bless!