"Government programs"! (How they help our Country)!

Sometimes I get the feeling that the entire world underwent some type of radical change and nobody told me. I only say this because I'm obviously "out of touch" with modern society to a point where I don't even feel welcome any more. I'll be fifty years old in January, but if we went back thirty years there wouldn't be a heck of a lot of difference in my lifestyle, save for a few grey hairs. I still have a gun rack in my truck, several rifles and shotguns in the house, fishing poles, tackle boxes, ammo cans, bows, arrows, hat's, and old boots that are "still too good" to throw away basically "litter" the back porch and basement. My computer desk is littered with past and current issues of "American Rifleman" magazines, several notebooks full of scrawlings, monthly issues of Hillsdale college's "Imprimus" publications, a "Kansas" road map, toothpick dispenser, and a "frosty" mason jar full of my traditional Sunday morning "tomato" juice. I also chew tobacco, smoke cigarettes, listen to Rush Limbaugh, and watch FOX news each night. What I want to know, is why didn't somebody tell me a long time ago that this type of self-destructive lifestyle was not only very "dangerous", but would also one day lead our entire nation into financial turmoil? Sure, I remember at least SOME of the things that the democrats tried to warn me about to protect me, such as the times they'd ban a particular firearm so I couldn't legally own it, but criminals still could, and I realize they only did this to keep me from hurting myself, on account of my "immaturity". The democrats were constantly reminding the rest of us that "guns kill", even though many of us would often try to put the blame on the lunatic pulling the trigger, who had apparently been "abused" by his great uncle Herb at one time, or a trusted family pet. None of my household weapons have ever killed any human being. At least not that I'm aware of, but due to the enlightenment I've been getting from the dems I keep a "suspicious" eye on them, and I really do think I saw my SKS move on it's own the other night, but I'm not sure cause I'd been drinking. It's not just guns that our democrat leaders are trying to protect us from, they're also trying to help us to live a longer and more "quality" type of life, mostly by convincing us to give up our bacon double cheeseburgers and french fries for some of the more healthier foods, such as prairie grass, nuts and berries, and boiled gravel. It was also the democrats, (in their ongoing efforts to reduce the number of "productive" people in this country), who came up with the ingenious idea of fueling our vehicles with "ethanol", rather than messing around with all that smelly old "crude" oil which lies abundantly under our land. Ethanol is widely popular to this day, giving the average motorist the ability to pay a few pennies less at the pump, while, at the same time giving him the satisfaction of knowing that he will get about half of the mileage per gallon that he would have if he'd just bought regular old "petroleum". The fact that he's taking food out of cattle's mouths and causing a nationwide feed shortage is of no concern either, cause he's eating boiled gravel now, remember? Some of the really "serious" democrats, like Al Gore, believe that we're ruining our planet through our "emissions" into the environment and causing what he calls "global warming", which helped to create a nationwide panic among people who think just like he does, and as a result, we now have several locations across the country with a huge population of giant "windmills", which, at the cost of nearly 3 million dollars apiece, can generate enough electricity to light up an entire 30-inch television screen, provided that the wind is blowing. "Government programs" is another way the democrats have been "looking out" for us, and I think this is a great idea because it gives us the opportunity to not only decide if we "want" to work, but in many cases how "hard" we want to work! If you're willing to work, but not all that "hard", you could get yourself a "government" job, wherein you'd receive a huge salary from the common taxpayers for conducting a study on the mating habits of the Australian field mouse, cause Lord knows this is important! On the other hand, if you don't wish to work at all, that's okay too! That's what the rest of us are here for, to "take care" of you! In short, the democrat's have lot's of great ideas and programs for this country, and I think those of us who are "frittering" our lives away by going to "work" on a daily basis are just wasting our time, and need to become a little more "worldly"! Personally, I'm going to try to be a more "modern" man myself, by learning how to "cry" in public, like John Boehner does. If I really get "into it", maybe someday I'll just give all of my guns, my truck, and my gun magazines to my wife. Maybe even my "testicles". I better go now Friends. I'm involved in a "study group" as to what made our great nation's credit rating drop, and from what I've seen so far from the "liberal" media, it's probably my fault. Have a great weekend Friends, and may God Bless!