I've been watching (and listening) to the news a lot lately, what with all the talk about the "national debt", and raising the nation's "debt ceiling", and I think it has probably helped me quite a bit, at least in my personal "accounting" methods. The main reason I say this is because my good wife and I have made an unusually large amount of purchases so far in this particular calendar year, such as a different car, truck, and a couple of "scooters" (for those special occasions), and I'm afraid I'm going to run out of money before I get a fishing boat. Well, I WAS afraid, but that was before I started paying close attention to how our government does business, and decided to just simply "raise" my own debt ceiling! Heck! It's fool-proof! Now I'll have the freedom to buy whatever I want and no matter the cost, right? The way I figure, if for some reason I'm not able to actually "pay" for any these things, my children and grandchildren can work off my debts later by working in a Chinese "sweat shop", or picking up roadside garbage for the government. In any case, I'm sure they wouldn't mind helping the "old man" out. Unfortunately, every time I come up with a plan like this one, (which is no doubt "borderline" genius), my good wife will inevitably find some sort of fault or flaw in it, no matter how ridiculously small it is. She's always been sort of "funny" that way. She apparently thinks that are ceilings are already too high, and should be maybe "lowered" down to the "seventies" level, (which I believe was eight feet, on account of everybody was trying to conserve energy because Jimmy Carter told us to) . Personally, just between you and me, I think she just likes being "mean" to me. You should hear the way she rambles on and on while spouting off totally irrational commands to me, and most of the time they don't make an ounce of sense! "You've had enough", she'll say, or "put your pants on, we have company coming over"! One time my grandson Caden and I caught a smallish catfish and put it in her aquarium to keep her tropical fish company and she wasn't appreciative at ALL. Now that you know just what I'm having to deal with, I'm open for any suggestions that would help me convince her to raise our debt ceiling. Sure, I've tried the same "scare-tactic" that Obama and the liberal democrats are trying to use on the American citizens, only I reworded it to fit my particular situation. The result was that it sounded as if I had just spent an entire year on an island where the only recreational activity was taking large quantities of illegal drugs, like this: "Honey, if I don't buy a new bass boat before the second day of August, old people won't get their social security checks, soldiers won't get paid, global warming will melt the ice caps, and we'll all be ruled by people who keep moving their mouths after their done talking, like in "King Kong"! "Also, we stand a fair chance of getting stung to death by electric eels, what without a new boat"! I really don't know why these things don't work for me, but they never do. I still don't have a boat. Maybe if I wear a suit, stand behind a podium, and read from a teleprompter I would have more success, but I don't know. I just know that my wife isn't easily fooled, and she pays little attention to politics in the first place. I wonder how it is that President Obama manages to "scare" such a large percentage of our population into believing him? Maybe I should try to look more "Presidential" when pleading with my wife for more money, and maybe even try to scare some of my elderly neighbors, like Ralph, or Leonard. They shouldn't be too difficult to scare. They've always seemed to be a little "jittery" anyway. At least whenever I've been around. Come to think of it, maybe I'll just keep on working and saving until I can buy my boat "outright", on account of "begging" for more money and "scaring" senior citizens in order to get my way doesn't sound very "Presidential" at all! At least not to me.
Have a great week, Friends, and I'll see you here next Sunday. God willing, of course.
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