I miss school. I'm not sure why, as I rarely even attended it when I was an actual student. Maybe there really was something to it when all the "older" folks used to tell me that I'd better enjoy going to school, because "someday I'll look back and see just how easy I had it"! Maybe the older folks secretly put some sort of "hex" on my life for all the days I "skipped" school to do more important things, like hunting and fishing with my "buddies", whose lives also appear to be "hexed". I really don't know how the older people would go about putting an actual hex on somebody, but I'm pretty sure they did it to me. I just hope they didn't have to sacrifice any live "goats" or "virgins" in the process. Well, goats anyway. "Virgins" were pretty scarce in the seventies. At least in the places where I hung out. Whatever the case, it turns out that the older people were right, and I really DO look back on my High school days fondly, at least MOST of them. We really did "have it made"! They fed us well, treated us fairly, taught us "sportsmanship", and basically kept us occupied in a manner in which there was no feasible way to get into trouble, at least if you "attended" on a somewhat regular basis. Sure, there were some teachers who it seemed would go out of their way to make your life more miserable, such as our algebra teacher, "John Neyer", who obviously wasn't even a native of this particular planet! "John", aka "Mr. Neyer", was constantly trying to confuse us by mixing up letters of the alphabet into mathematical equations by giving us problems to solve, like: 5x+2=27. Seriously! What the hell does that mean? Just for his own amusement, John would change the "value" of the "x" frequently, in a way that would attract very little attention from the other students, but I was "smart" enough to sort of "call him out" on occasion, and make him explain his way of thinking to me. You really shouldn't trust guys who keep changing the value of "x". At least that's my way of thinking. I remember the annual "S.A.T." tests, which I think stood for "Schoolastic Apptitude Tests, but I'm not sure. I don't remember things very well anymore because of the "hex". But anyway, the S.A.T. tests were given to us in our schools lunchroom once a year, wherein you'd be given, (as a student), a total of two "number two" pencils, a piece of "scratch" paper, and an eraser. The general idea was that some government agency could determine how intelligent you were by asking you a question, and then giving you the answer via "multiple choice", and like a chimpanzee, you were expected to fill in the correct "oval" in order to get a "passing" grade and obtain more government money for your particular school. I kind of liked the S.A.T.'s, but mostly because of the fact that almost ALL of the "problems" were written in simple, easy to understand, formats, such as this:
(Bob wants to remodel his kitchen with pink wallpaper and a series of cute little ducks embedded within. Bob can't do this himself, so he asks his best friend "Ted" for help. Bob's kitchen is 12 feet by 14 feet with an 8 foot ceiling. Knowing that wallpaper comes in eight foot by 32 inch rolls, how long will it take Ted to figure out that Bob's a little bit "strange", and that he should flee immediately?"
If you're like me, you would have left immediately, and even tightened your belt by at least one notch and been damned sure not to bend over. But that's not my point! My point is that no matter what crazy schemes the older folks would come up with to keep us on the "straight and narrow", it actually worked. Sure, our parents and mentors were basically "idiots" back when we were younger, but now that we've grown older, it's somewhat surprising to see the progress they've made in the "intelligence" department! I would have to say that them stupid "older" people were doing their damndest best to help us kids. I wonder if we're doing the same for our own children and grandchildren? I wonder if all algebra teachers come from another planet? Sure, I realize that I just use the "humor" to sort of "suck" you into reading my blogs, but you'd do the same thing if you're Country was possibly on the "decline" due to lack of "leadership", wouldn't you? Guess what?It really is in OUR hands now! Think about it! Please! America is the greatest Nation in the whole world. Let's keep it that way! Have a great week Friends, and may the Good Lord Bless! Also, you should probably listen to the "older" folks, on account of they "built" this Country. See you next Sunday, my TRUE Friends!
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