Thank God for "Experts"

Sometimes we, as Americans, become spoiled by our way of life, and forget to give thanks to the people who gave it to us, the "experts". Experts are generally studious people that have little or no hand's on experience in whatever particular field they are deemed to be experts in. For example, experts on raising children tend to not have any of their own, which automatically makes their personal "child-rearing" ideas highly educational to the people who actually have kids, and will probably land them a government job and an interview with "Oprah" very soon. Now don't get me wrong! I'm not against anyone being an expert on anything! I just think they should have some actual experience in whatever field it is that they're giving advice in, as many of these type of people basically hide from reality like a ground-hog, only coming out of their holes occasionally and hoping they don't see their shadows, which scares them back into hiding for another six weeks. A few years ago, some dietary experts deducted that coffee was very bad for us, but after meeting with several rich executives from coffee bean plantations in Colombia, they decided that they were just joking, and that coffee is actually a very healthy substitute for drinks such as Jack Daniels and Coke, as well as it is for grapefruit juice. Basically, all meat is bad for you, even though our own bodies would be proven to be made from it, at least under close scrutiny. As for myself, I'm extremely happy that tobacco, ( such as cigarettes and chew), are still considered a healthy option to pickled turkey gizzards, at least that's what I interpret by the fact that our government does not subsidize the pickled turkey farmer, but still does the tobacco farmer. At least we can be assured that no money exchanges hands in that agreement. Myself, I say "hat's off" to the experts in our world, and maybe one of them can actually plug the oil leaking into the water. I've decided that I want to be an expert on something, but I don't know what yet. It would have to beat the heck out of working for a living though, and I would be willing to appear on "60 Minutes" to convey my expertise to all of you, who may not understand me, especially if I use big, intelligent sounding word's and phrases, such as "global warming", or "natural disaster".