Off to a Great start in 2011! (sort of)

(Well, the first week of 2011 is "in the books", and according to the media, the economy is on the upswing!) (People are buying things again, unemployment is starting to go down, and the overall mood of the people is one of great confidence in all aspects of life including their government!) But here in the United States of America, not much has changed, and to make matters even worse, some idiot opened fire on a peaceful political gathering in Tucson Arizona killing six people and injuring thirteen others which, besides the senseless loss of life, will surely bring even more restrictions to our second amendment rights, and probably even the first. Aside from this, I'm not sure that unemployment is going down so much as it is that a large number of people were caught about a week too late to get O'Bama's extension and just can't draw it anymore. Fortunately, our company is doing good, but still not hiring any additional workers. Our boss took us to the "Horseshoe" bar and grill for lunch the other day, when two guys "Bob" and "Rick" came up to him and actually asked him for a job! "Bob" was clean-shaven and dressed appropriately and even looked somewhat intelligent, while "Rick" looked as though he hadn't been directly subjected to any form of personal hygiene since the Clinton administration, at least outside of combing his beard with a salad fork. It turns out that Darrel didn't hire either of them but I'm not sure of the reason. Perhaps my company has a strict policy against hiring people who have quotation marks around their names. Besides unemployment, there have been numerous reports of entire flocks of birds falling from the sky already dead in at least three states and four other countries, plus large amounts of fish and other marine life. What gives? Fish are one thing, but we live right beside the towns little lake and have an over abundance of ducks and geese, and while it would certainly be an inconvenience to be rained down upon by a flock of dead sparrows I damn sure don't want to be the first guy in town to take a direct hit from a dead gander! Hopefully nobody would shout "heads-up" at the last second, cause that's just cruel. Aside from even this, drug cartels in Mexico are ringing in the new year by cutting each others heads off! Apparently this is just "loads" of fun, and is recently gaining enough popularity that I would be surprised if it's not included in a future Olympics someday, probably as part of the "luge" event, just to add excitement. (So you see friends, there is much to celebrate with the dawning of each new year, and we should all be excited for the "new" direction our country is heading in!) By the way, everything you see in parenthesis in this story is for the sake of the left-wing media such as CBS, NBC, and ABC. The rest of the story is true. Have a great week friends!