A totally "un-biased" childrens guide to politics.

Once upon a time in a land not so far away, a ship carrying large amounts of Europeans crashed onto the shore of a basically uninhabited land, forcing the survivors to remain in this new land indefinitely, as their ship was basically "totaled", and "Carnival Cruise Lines" wasn't scheduled to be in operation for at least another two hundred years! Armed with this knowledge, the people branched out all over the land, learning how to grow crops and hunt animals for food, and how to build things from raw materials such as rock and mud and trees. Many of these people thrived from their hard work, acquiring huge amounts of land to grow their crops on, but unfortunately there were equal amounts people who chose to do very little for themselves, and spent most of their time smoking "doobies" and listening to old Beetle's albums on their I-pod's, which caused a certain amount of dissent among the population, forcing them to eventually create a "government" with which to SERVE everyone "fairly". In order to form this governing body, the people knew that they would have to have some of the sharpest minds among them write up some sort of "Constitution", which would not only give everyone an equal opportunity for a successful life, but also become widely ignored by future generations of politicians. It was finally decided that a young man named Ben would do most of the writing for the Constitution because not only was he intelligent, but he only had to put in a forty hour week at the post office anyway, and therefore had more spare time than many of the others! It is also widely believed that when Ben wrote the Constitution he was listening to "Rush Limbaugh" on his I-Pod! Several years went by wherein most of the people basically got along with each other pretty well but didn't always agree on everything, forcing the country into a "two-party" system. The people who worked very hard to build up wealth for themselves and their families decided to call themselves "Republicans", and chose the elephant as their political symbol, as the elephant was the biggest, strongest animal known to man at the time and reflected well on their work ethic. The people who didn't work very hard, and often times showed no more signs of ambition than a frozen beef patty, decided to call themselves "Democrats", and chose a jackass as their symbol of recognition, which I think is also very reflective of their ethics, or whatever! Using the two-party system appeared to give everyone a "voice" on all matters handled by the government, (which were very few back then), with people from both parties having somebody to represent their particular beliefs! This system is apparently no longer in use today, being replace by the more "modern" system of "I'm the Politician, and we'll do things my way"! For a few more decades, the Republicans continued working hard and amassing large amounts of personal wealth, stopping only briefly from time to time to fight a war and make their country and economy stronger. The Democrats would always help in the war efforts, but aside from that basically spent their time ensuring that new laws would be made in which any Republican who had amassed " enough" money would be forced to share it with the Democrats. The Democrats seemed to always be giving money away to people who didn't really deserve it, but that's ok, because it wasn't really their money anyway! In time however, the Democrats had managed to give away more money than their country had, and ended up borrowing money from foreign countries, such as China and Chad, (of course I know), which basically gave the "title" of their own country to that of a foreign nation! As if that wasn't enough, they also made a laughing stock out of their own Military in a way which I will not go into detail here. Yes kids, the Democrats have a whole slew of accomplishments to be given credit for, among them are taking Jesus out of schools and anywhere else that a foreign killer may be offended by His presence, paying people who are ABLE to work NOT to work, which forces a society of people to rely on government programs for their very existence, and how about giving civilian court trials to known terrorists who seem to have not much better to do than to try to kill their own citizens? What about allowing protesters from a so called "church" protest at funerals of their fallen hero's, paying no attention to the rights of the grieving families? Eventually, the country became so divided that it made no difference who they voted for anymore, Republican or Democrat, they all were seemingly in politics for their own personal gain. The people knew deep inside of their heart's that it was too late to save their beloved country, at least by measures as civil as voting. For a time they thought about fighting back against the monster that had became their master, but unfortunately they were un-armed due to a recent vote against their second amendment right to keep and bear arms by people who were concerned about the safety of their country and their personal way of life. At this time the people decided that maybe they should just share a cigarette and a few beers together and decide what to do about their out of control government, but then sadly remembered that both smoking and drinking had also been "outlawed" by the voters who were much better people than they were. Eventually, the Chinese took over the country, treating everybody that they didn't kill outright equally, giving them all the same portion of rice to eat each and every day on the dirt floor in a community tent, but only after their sixteen hours a day of forced labor was over! Finally things were coming together for the Democrats! Everybody was being treated the same, eating the same healthy foods and working the same long hours, even though many of them were surprised to find that even the wealth that they had built was not enough to get them "special" treatment from the Chinese. Sure, they tried, but apparently the Chinese had little respect for people that would sell out their own country to others for personal advancement. Sometimes I think it's strange that some countries still have systems in place which reward "honor" rather than preaching about such farces as "Global warming" and a "carbon footprint". In any case, this is how this great "fictional" nation fell from being the most respected "super-power" of the world into a state of slavery and welfare! Sounds fun doesn't it kids? I'm damn glad that it wasn't the "United" States of America that I was writing this story about, but it WILL be someday if we continue to let our elected officials blatantly ignore our wishes! We are truly living in a "police state" right now, wherein citizens of our country are given the choice to be either fondled or have nude pictures taken of them before boarding an airplane by a TSA employee! To all of you friends out there who are reasonably close to my age, I want you to remember that our fathers and grand-fathers never had this problem! They wouldn't have put up with this problem. They wouldn't have put up with many of the problems that we now face. Knowing that we have the tutoring of some of the best parents in the world, why do we? Have a great weekend friends, and know that I love you all.