Toasters, ceiling fans, and technology?

Okay, Okay! Alright already! It IS 2011, and there are several things in the world of technology that, (even though I hate), I will have to start getting used to, cause it doesn't look like they're going away any time soon. I realize that most people are quick to embrace most any new technology, especially when it comes to communications and such, but I'm still lagging far behind the herd in this particular area. Telephone answering machines have been around for many years now, plus everybody has "voice-mail" on their telephones, as if they're worried about missing an important call containing information as to the whereabouts of Osama Bin Laden, or that "Pizza Hut" may have had some last minute questions about your carry-out order of spicy "buffalo" wings and is urgently trying to contact you, but anyway, my point is that we should all be used to these things by now! Unfortunately, that is still not the case for me. Long after the rest of the world has gotten used to talking to message-taking machines, I still find myself more than likely to just hang up if I don't get a "real" person on the other end of my phone conversations. Of course, I'm not stupid! I recognize this as possibly some sort of minor "neurosis", and as a sort of "self-help" therapy, have been trying to cure myself by talking to the various machines around the house that I really feel comfortable with, such as the toaster, and the ceiling fan in the family room. The problem with this is that when my good wife Kristy actually SEES me doing this, she immediately develops a "concerned" look on her face and tends to drag on and on about trivial things, such as my drinking. I'm guessing that Kristy isn't a big believer in the whole "self-help" therapy process, but that's just me. Another thing I just don't understand is all this "texting" crap! Seriously, if you don't have time to actually talk to someone on the phone, then how in the world do you have time to send a text message? I do realize that texting is probably extremely important to our youth in the classrooms, who may not be able to have outright phone conversations during Biology class, and without texting would most likely be forced to listen to their teacher drone on and on about the sexual tendencies of earth worms, and the fact that by not having any real ability to "see" their sex partner helps tremendously in the whole "reproduction" process, so I would have to agree that texting is as much a part of our schools as is the "backpack", no.2 pencils, and the condom dispenser at the end of the hall. (Trust me, this is the absolute REAL truth in some states)! Luckily for all of us older people, our school-agers also have cameras in their cell phones, which gives them the ability to take pictures of things that they shouldn't be taking pictures of anyway and send them to students who are stuck smack in the middle of an algebra test, and were desperately needing something to help them to take their minds off their work, as well as reduce the chances that they would someday get into a "respectable" college, which I think is a GOOD thing, as we Americans are just way too damned far ahead of the rest of the world already, and should probably "lay back" and let the rest of them catch up! I think it's funny how we all pretend to show great concern for our children and grandchildren and their futures, as well as the future of this great country, the Greatest country on earth, yet continue to let Washington Liberals tell us how to raise our young. I think, that at least here in Kansas and the larger portion of the mid-west, we should probably continue to raise our young the same way we have for over two hundred years. They all seem to come out okay! If any of you should happen to need my advice on this, you can find me in the kitchen. I'll be talking to the toaster. The ceiling fan in the family room is just a tad too "liberal" for me. Have a great week friends! Rany loves you, and may the good Lord bless and keep YOU!