"Taxes"!............."And the Woolly Mammoth"

Well, tomorrow is the deadline for filing your income taxes and giving the government yet even more of your hard earned money with which to do useful things that will benefit our society, such as building a "life-size" replica of a giant "woolly mammoth" and placing it in an area with a large amount of tourism, (like Fargo, North Dakota), where it will no doubt be a major boost to the local economy from the huge amount of unwary travelers who had previously only stopped there to ask directions back to the "Inter-state". Or maybe you'll get "lucky", and they'll use YOUR particular tax dollars for something a little more "useful", such as conducting a serious study on the effects of hooking a pair of "jumper cables" onto your girlfriends "nipple rings"! I'm not at all "biased" toward either woolly mammoths OR North Dakota, but if either of these scenarios were indeed real life tourist attractions, I know what the "smart" money would be on, at least "profit-wise". I think that we should all be happy that our tax dollars are not being spent on something extremely foolish, such as paying down the National debt! I also think that maybe the Internal Revenue Service should at least make some sort of "attempt" at making the U.S. tax code a tad more understandable, as I've done my taxes myself on my computer for the last three years, and apparently I owe a much larger amount of money than I even made, plus, for some stupid reason, the IRS apparently will no longer give me a tax break for my "free range" fishing worm farm due to technicalities involving the exact numbers of my "herd". God only knows what kind of ludicrous idea they'll come up with next, which is why I'm happy that I got an e-mail the other day informing me that my name had been chosen as the winner in a special lottery in Nigeria, and the really nice people of Nigeria are in the process of sending me three million dollars! Personally, I have to admit that I don't really remember even GOING to Nigeria, much less playing the lottery there, but I DO have some pretty rough weekends on occasion, so I will have to take their word for it, and after all, I'll soon be a millionaire! About the only down side I've seen from this is that due to huge amounts of Nigerian "red-tape", I've had to send them $5,000.00 on three different occasions in order to "free up" my winnings and to help with expensive processing fees, which apparently they don't have the money to cover, even though they have three million dollars to give to me. I'm sure you're thinking "Rany, this is an obvious scam that only people who use plastic slip-covers under their bed sheets would fall for", but that's okay, because once I'm a millionaire I'll be able to afford brand NEW friends that don't have such "negative" attitudes. Besides, I've got more important things to worry about right now, like wondering if the money will come via a large UPS truck. I wonder what denomination the bills will be? Ones? Fives? Tens? Twenties? Damn! It would probably take a lot of fairly sturdy boxes if it's all in "ones"! I wonder if I should relocate into a mansion in a "gated" community somewhere? Maybe THAT'S what the auditor meant when he said that I should get used to looking at the rest of the world through steel bars! Have a Great week Friends, and if you still haven't learned any better, I'll see you back here next Sunday! Until then, May The Good Lord Bless and Keep YOU!