"Look out below"!

I've decided to sue NASA. Not for anything they did directly to me, but for the emotional trauma that I suffered this week wondering if their falling satellite was going to land on me. Plus, for the really "stiff" neck I got from constantly gazing up into the sky looking for it, thinking that maybe I would see it in just enough time to take some kind of evasive action! I realize that many of you may have also suffered trauma from this incident, and may be "launching" your OWN lawsuits against NASA, so in the interest of "fairness", I've decided to ask for no more than two hundred million dollars for myself! That should leave plenty of money left over for the rest of you. At least by my way of figuring. Don't get me wrong. It's not as if I have some "personal" problem with NASA. I don't even know any of the employees that work there! It's just that I have enough things to worry about in life without the added burden of knowing that I could be squashed by falling space debris at any moment. One of the things I worry about a bunch is our government, and even though I feel re-assured that there are enough other people worried about it too that Obama couldn't get re-elected to President if his only opponent was a poorly trained lab rat, I still worry how much more damage he can do before he leaves office. I think we have loads of great candidates on the Republican side. I've listened to all of them at one time or another, and even though ALL of them seem to be very intelligent, every one of them has at least one "flaw" that "worries" me. If I was going to pick one to "stand behind" at this particular point in time, it would be Michelle Bachman, but for reasons that may not be all that closely related to politics anyway. I just hope that whoever wins the GOP nomination will make a good President, and get what's left of our great Country back on track! I'm sure it will take many years to undo the damage of the Obama administration, but together, I'm sure "We Can"*! The best part is, at least for me, once we have a good Republican President and begin turning our Nation around, I can stop worrying about the government, and start worrying about the things I used to worry about, such as if "Kenny" will get killed on the next episode of "South Park", or where the electricity goes when it leaves our toaster. You know. The "usual" things a fifty year old man should worry about! If things improve even faster then I predict, I may even cut NASA a little "slack, and take a smaller settlement!
Have a great week Friends! And remember that I'll be here next Sunday with even MORE useless information and ill-given advice! In the meantime, God Bless!


* = Remember that slogan? Don't vote that way again!