And now, a few minutes with Rany "Rooney"!

Sometimes I think that the modern day world is totally "preoccupied" with sex! Everywhere I look there is either a "spam" e-mail, television commercial, or office "sticky note" that has something to do with sex! Television commercials use sex to sell everything from lingerie and lipstick to beer and blue jeans. There are so many commercials being tossed around on tv that many of them contradict each other. "Viagra" for example, promises that you can be ready to "go" in just a few minutes, (I assume this would be in case you caught your wife off-guard, doing something extremely sexy such as scrubbing the toilet in her bathrobe), in case that special "moment" arrives. Viagra also promises that it can keep you going "all night", yet advises you to call your doctor if you have an erection lasting more than four hours! There's several things wrong with that claim, at least by my way of thinking! Firstly, unless your doctor is female, you are not going to call your doctor describing the nature of your problem, and if your doctor actually IS female, your affliction will probably go away soon after you get into the back seat of the squad car that was sent to pick you up for sexually harassing a woman over the phone. Secondly, I have little sympathy for those "slackers" who tend to take all night to do something that most of us men can do in just a few scant minutes! These are the same kind of people who rarely get promotions in the work-place, showing the same lack of drive and ambition on the job as they obviously do in the bedroom. Thirdly, why take a little blue pill to keep you going all night long when you can get pretty much the same results from consuming vast quantities of beer? This is a seriously proven method, and both my wife and myself can readily admit that when I practice this particular method I generally have to "go" several times a night, sometimes even waking her up on my way there! Don't get me wrong! It's not like I'm against sex or anything. I remember it well! I just think that there should be LESS of it on our television sets, computers, and office furniture! I think I'll be taking more of a "Purist" type of stand in the future, and will only watch television shows that air wholesome, clean commercials, such as "Tide" or "Folgers", or basically anything by the "Go Daddy" girl! I will also try to only watch country music videos featuring Laura Bell Bundy. We have to start somewhere, friends, and I'm just doing my part! My wife says my Sunday column is too "short", but that's ok, I've heard it all before, and I've got work to do! "See" you next week, Friends!