"Diversity"? No thanks! I gave at the office!"

So I finally got around to going to church with my wife this morning, even though I had promised to on Easter Sunday but was granted a last minute reprieve by a grandson that had to be home at a time which was in direct conflict with the beginning of services. I admit that I learned quite a bit, but mostly only about myself, such as that I'm not really the kind of guy who really appreciates a lot of diversity. Truthfully, I haven't been to church in about four years. We were living in the great state of Nebraska at the time and started attending a Christian church with our elderly neighbors, George and Phyllis Engle, and it was pretty much the same way that I remember church from when I was a kid, wherein everybody would put on their Sunday best clothes and a somber look while hoping to be forgiven for whatever sins they had committed since the prior Sunday. It's not that it was particularly "fun", but it was in fact, "church", in the very manner most people my age expect it to be. I guess it just ain't that way anymore, judging from the experience I had this morning at what I still haven't decided for sure if it was indeed a gathering of "believers" in Christ, or simply a small band of sixties-style "hippies" who were intent on getting a spot on "American Idol" in the not too distant future. I say this primarily because at least one half of the service consisted of listening to a "rock" band, and even though the music WAS at least "religion-based", it was extremely LOUD! Okay! I KNOW that I'm "old-fashioned", but that is partly due to the fact that I am "old", and our prior churches tended to only use organs and pianos for musical instruments, and rarely ever had choir members wearing "flip-flops" and shorts playing the electric guitar or drums, some of which, I might add, were bobbing their heads to the tune of the music in the manner one would expect to see from a person wearing contact lenses that had apparently burst into flames unexpectedly, and they were trying to make them fall out. During the "music", the lead band singer informed us that we were free to take communion if we wished, and that we were also free to sing along with the words provided on the teleprompter, while sitting or standing, because the very most important part is that we can all "worship in our own way"! I thought that this would be a great time to inform him that I normally like to do my Sunday worshiping at home, with a frosty red beer while writing my Sunday blog, but my good wife thought it to be best if I said nothing at all, so I remained mute. My wife is "funny" that way. I have to admit that when the actual "preacher" came out and started "preaching", he was borderline "awesome", on account of he put everything into "lay-man's" terms, which means that even I could understand them, because frankly, many of the "Ten Commandments" previously appeared to have very "vague" meanings to me before, but now that I've been "schooled" by the pastor, I now know that "Thou Shalt Not Kill" means exactly what it says, and I promise to never do it again, short of going hunting, fishing, or being called back into the Army, and truthfully, I don't even HAVE a neighbors wife that I would want to "covet", because I'm pretty sure that I've already married the only woman who would put up with me! I guess I just don't understand how "Religion" can change so much, or even how I'm not contacted when these changes take place. Does JESUS really send out up-dates to the Holy Bible to almost everyone but me, and if so, why? Sometimes, in my "weaker" moments, I get the "hunch" that maybe the commandments and rules for living that are prevalent in the Bible just keep changing, and in a way that would serve no other purpose than to put more money into the hands of ministers who will carry them out, but that's just me! I know, I need to learn to be more "diverse", but it's really tough to do, even though I started doing it on Saturday night, by taking my good wife out for supper at "Carlos-O-Kelly's" for a Mexican meal, prepared by Chinese youngsters, delivered to our table by African-American kids! Keep your "diversity" my friends, and just let me be. I'll pay my OWN way, and by the way, Happy Mothers Day! On occasion, I get a tad "out of hand", but know that I love You! Also, I won't EVER change the rules! Happy Mothers Day!